Thursday, 17 January 2013

Melancholy Moments ....

We have been a little quiet and lacking in motivation lately, however I have forced myself to write a blog.  I have been in quite melancholy place for sometime and I feared that if I left it any longer ... I just might not get back into the swing of it. 

They say that time is a great healer and I know this .... however it also takes time to come to terms with the trials and tribulations that life has to throw at you.  Acceptance is also something that takes time you can't rush these things.

We had quite a sad Christmas time here again,  which has been the reason for not having the desire to write any blogs.  

Many regular readers will know that we have been trying to treat Zirrianna, as she had developed a very nasty skin problem, we had been treating this for most of last year.  Unfortunately, things didn't improve and she became quite ill a couple of days before Christmas.  I was left with no real option as she was obviously not going to recover.  Ironically her face was improving but other problems must have been underlying. This was my very last resort and after a very long battle, we failed to get a happy ending .... I had to make the hardest decision, the one you never want to ..... but know you have to ! 
Sadly Zirrianna was put to sleep, she was just a baby .... only a year and a half old.  This was not the way I thought it would be.  She will never be forgotten and will hold a special place in my heart..

We have been coming to terms with our ordeal.  I have often asked myself the biggest question of all .....'Why'

Its at times like this that you feel like just throwing the towel in, then you take a look around at all your lovely animals .. who put a smile on your face and the question is answered.  I know that lots of people go through the same dilemma.  It never gets any easier.   

We are looking forward to a happier new year .... we will battle on and continue to get pleasure from the happy times and maybe in time we can look back and learn from this.  

The only consolation is .... we tried our best, but sometimes even your best .... just isn't good enough.

We are currently under a blanket of snow here and more is forecast for tomorrow .... the waters are frozen and its definitely wintry, the alpacas are enjoying their haylage and the rest from the mud.


Rosemary said...

0h Jayne, very, very sorry.
Love from us all.

Barbara@beckbrowalpacas said...

I have been thinking about you often Jayne. I was so hoping that it was not bad news that was stopping you blogging. It is such a hard time of the year at the best of times. I am so sorry. Take care. Hugs from here xx

A Country Chicken said...

Poor you and poor Zirianna, I am so sorry to read about your loss. It is incredibly hard, my sympathies are with you. Lisa

Shirley said...

Hiya Jayne - good to see you back again. Take care of yourself. Shirley & Robbie

Judi B said...

Glad you are back posting and I now truly know what you've been through. We had to make that dreadful decision yesterday with our sweet matriarch Pegassou. When you've tried so hard and for so long, to help them, it is quite heartbreaking to say goodbye....especially when they don't even get close to the 20 years they could be with us.

Terry said...

Jayne, I have thought of you many times, and wondered how you were doing. I am so sorry that Zirianna passed away. I hope your beautiful alpaca family, your parents, and all at Zanzibar help your spirit heal.

Andrew said...

Sorry to hear the bad news Jayne. Its must have been a tough call but I am sure that you have done the right thing for Zirianna. We will be thinking about you.